Wonder...

So, I have started to go to church again. I am at least trying. It is more like something that I occasionally went to in college called overflow. Overflow was just a bunch of young adults meeting for fellowship. That is what this is more or less. Fellowship is one thing that I have not been getting out here in NY. And part of my New Years trying goal is to live life more fully, and this may help me toward that.

Anyway, the preacher man, I'd say probably in his 30's was talking. First he was talking about how much marketing there was, and how it was directed to kids, and how research is done for that reason. I found it interesting. I already knew about it, but just in his context, it was interesting. He also talked about how the disney princesses were, and what they showed girls to be like, and what the Disney prince characters told boys. I started laughing.


I know this is kind of a cynical view of it, but looking to what I have said, not only in the first entries of this blog, but also what I have said in life, it actually seems to be pretty true, as sad as that is.

And then he was talking about the stages of life. Not like puberty and adolescence, but more the feelings with ages. It was Wonder, Reality, Love, and then Death. This really got me. As of recently, I have been trying to get out of the reality and into the love stage. That is where you start trying to find someone to date, and that you can share with. That is something that I do want. I am not very good at it. After some encouragement, I partially hinted about taking a girl out. Well, needless to say, I was pretty much shot down. An experience I am far too familiar with. I never know when, how, and if I should make a move. It is the friend zone conundrum. I am just as guilty too, because I really value friendships. So, it kinda sucks, but then Chumbawumba's Tubthumping comes to mind.

But that is not the point of this post. He was talking about how little kids see wonder in everything, and get joy out of everything. Even the littlest things brighten up kids, and open their eyes and minds to new experiences. While I do admit that I still get starry eyed and look at things with wonder, I still also get cynical and bored with things. This idea of wonder. He was talking about how his kids would do anything to be able to go sledding. He then spoke of how he viewed sledding. The kids saw the wonder and the joy, and he saw the cold and the repetition of it.

This really did strike a cord with me. I miss finding wonder in everything. I really do. Sometimes I know too much, or think too much for my own good. I get a jaded world view. I want to be able to look at things and find joy in the experience of them. Lets take the NYC subway for example. They are amazing. They transport nearly 5 million people a day. They are nearly a hundred years old. There is new technology to keep people safe and costs down always coming out. It is an amazing system. But sometimes, instead of looking at these giant steel cars roaring through the musty tunnels of old new york, I see them as a pain. I complain about them taking too long, being too crowded, or just as a ride. Though sometimes I see them and I, I dont know, I feel so small but in awe. I think of all of those that ride it, the history and everything...

There are so many things that I see and experience everyday, and I do not look at is as anything more then what it is.

I am going to try to start seeing the world through more wonderful eyes. Where I see the world it is amazingness. Where I remember to get the joy from the little things. Where I try to see it through a child's eyes, so I can see more then what is really there.

Anyway, off to work.